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@ElleOhHell
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Thanks for choosing UPS to ship your package. Woul...
5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES!...
[front of card] No one will find your body [open ...
Hey Brenda, let’s watch this cute kitten video! *c...
I'll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was lik...
Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain may have been great m...
Why call it a belly button. It doesn't DO anything...
I saw a sign that said falling rocks so I tried an...
*buzzing in* Alex Trebek: Yes, Elle. Me: Warsaw. A...
Bob, I'm gonna need you to draw me two dinosaurs h...
Please remain seated until we've reached the gate,...
Roses are red violets are blue celery is green bee...
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugg...
World's worst sorority https://twitter.com/ElleOhH...
[medical examiner doing autopsy on man who ate a p...
FOOD SCIENTIST: we bred this corn to have less rig...
BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was t...
*discovering flying dinosaur* PALEONTOLOGIST: We'l...
WEB DESIGNER: (wakes up in lava) Wh…why am I in he...
If Wonder Woman and Spider-Man go into business to...
me ○ the myth promulgated by く|)へ ...