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@Playing_Dad
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収集されているツイート (21)
Sitting at my daughter's pretend restaurant. The ...
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave ...
If you stick a pair of wings on a giraffe, you bas...
Walk up in the club like "THIS IS MY JAM" handing ...
Welcome to passive aggressive club. We're so hap...
*grabs microphone at register at Best Buy* THE TEE...
If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he was...
[Walks into kitchen] Hey, honey, do you know where...
And so then I just said to God "like whatever, God...
[At Last Supper] *Jesus raises bread* This is my b...
Her: Pssst. You looking to hook up with some good ...
This is the best description of how I handle my fe...
Everything is all Trump this and Clinton that and ...
If you stole the piano at Playground Pier in AC, p...
Therapist: I want you to picture something peacefu...
Wife: Why is there a charge for $3,000 to Men's Wa...
Wife: Is dinner ready? Me: Not yet. Wife: Are you ...
Wife: How did her first day of school go? Me: Good...
No sign has ever encapsulated my life more than th...
Me: Where's the cat? Her: She doesn't respond to t...
Pizza ○ く|)へ 〉  ̄ ̄┗┓ Pineappl...